Is This Good Writing? Does It Interest You?

The second person voice is quite the trip, but you're going to have to mitigate that in either first or third in order to make it work, in my opinion. I am not Catholic, and therefore the praying means nothing to me, and yanks me out of the narrative. Second person is effective here because it's forceful. But forcing me to do or believe something for the better part of even a short story would override my ability to suspend my own disbelief.